A very fine Shedletsky's Cap

This is the Official Shedletsky’s Cap. It’s made of cotton. It feels nice. It keeps the sun off your face, which is good, because squinting gives you wrinkles. It’s got a strap on the back so you can tighten it—pretty standard technology, but it works.

Wear it to the deli. Wear it to avoid eye contact on the tube. Wear it while eating pickles over the sink. We don't care, just buy the hat.